Leave your funniest story, picture, “dad joke,” or witty one-liner down below!
Or feel free to leave a youtube link to your favorite funny standup or funny movie.
Let’s keep it family-friendly though, friends 
Why can’t the nose be 12 inches long?… Because then it would be a foot!
Why did the bicycle collapsed?…
It was two tired!
A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
Th doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you…”
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They say money talks…mine just waves goodbye
What do sprinters eat before they run?..Nothing, they fast
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I hate my mood swings. They’re great!
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What’s the best time to go to a doctor Tooth dirty" (2:30) 
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I went to the ear doctor the other day and he told me I was going deaf…
It was really hard to hear.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? How many did it take last year?
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What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know and I don’t care!
I used to think I was just undecided… but now I’m not so sure.
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says “ARGH, I have a bounty on my head.”
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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match
How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut!
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
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My dad likes to share that he is an Entrepreneur, when folks ask for more info, the usual response: “It means, I mind my own business”
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My cousin used to work at an optometrist creating custom glasses … he gave it up when his lab coat got caught in the grinder and he made a spectacle of himself.
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haha! I love that
When two vegans get in an arguments…is it still called a beef?
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What is a dentist’s favorite time? Tooth hurty (2:30).
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What did the bartender say when a horse walked into his bar?
…“What’s with the long face?”
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
…“Dam!”
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My oldest son likes these two:
What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli? [Insert child’s name here} won’t eat broccoli!
Why did [Insert child’s name]'s paper airplane stink? [Name} threw it up!
How does an accountant stay out of debt?
He learns to act his wage
Courtesy of dadsaysjokes on IG 
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed?
Everybody
Sometimes I wake up grumpy.
But other times I let her sleep in.
1 Like